Facial Fails: Unexpected Cumshots & Crazy Loads!

Cumshots are sexy: they also have the ability to be pretty hilarious in the right circumstances. Check out these comedic unloading sessions below and let me know which one you think its the funniest.

Everyone loves a good cumshot, right? With a pretty face as a target and a lot of load to be dished out, you can pretty much guarantee that someone is going to have a great time. What’s brilliant about the cumshot is that there’s pretty much no risk for the dude – the chick though? Well, plenty of things can go wrong and those surprising releases can really catch a few of these babes unawares. Still, the great thing about a healthy, thick and powerful load of cum being delivered to a babe’s face is that she knows she’s earned every last drop – what’s not to love in that circumstance? It’s genuine proof that she’s an absolute babe!

Get off your back!

There’s a good reason why you shouldn’t be laying down on your back when you’re about to be juiced on: things like this will happen. What’s brilliant about gravity is that if you’re on your knees and looking toward the horizon, cum will naturally drip down instead of pool up! Thankfully, this broad didn’t go blind, but you’ve got to be careful if you’re going to take a lump of man juice straight to your eye socket. Lesson learned: don’t be lazy when you’re getting blasted with a load. Always get on your knees and have a towel handy just in case things get too messy!

Always wear protection!

I think it goes without saying that safety is really important when it comes to the bedroom: that’s why this broad makes a point of keeping her glasses on when she’s due for a glaze! While most people think that the only protection you need is a condom, this broad is thinking 3 steps ahead and making sure that even if she’s not going to be pumped full of cum, there are ways to keep yourself safe! I’ve heard that at least one chick got COVID from taking a load to the eye too – always be careful who you’re rooting and when it doubt, slap on the safety goggles to keep yourself from getting in harm’s way.

Crazy ruined shot

Okay, so this isn’t much of a facial, but I had to include it anyway – I saw this clip a few days ago and was blown away by the fact that this dude was able to let off such a huge load, with so much power, all while having no active stimulation. The girl he’s with is certainly surprised too – it’s sexy how she’s just holding his dick and enjoying the moment instead of trying to milk him for more. This is what we call a ‘ruined orgasm’ in the industry: all we have to see next time is her face getting plastered with the fruits of her labor to make it a truly special clip. How much would you pay in order to get a jerking off session like this?

Accidental cumshot

I think it’s generally a good idea to give your partner as much time as possible to know what’s about to happen – for whatever reason, that information didn’t get conveyed here. This is one of those rare instances where a girl receives a spurt of jizz that she had absolutely no warning for – I think we have to blame the dude behind the cock for this one! What’s so hard about just going ahead and telling your misses that you’re about to unleash hell on her hot body? Everyone knows that this is the smart thing to do, because from this point onward, she’s always going to be scared whenever an excited shaft is put in front of her. Ah well – she’ll learn soon enough that if the cock isn’t in your mouth or pussy, it’s a very dangerous object indeed! Though who are we kidding? She’s Japanese and knows damn well that bukkake porn is the best porn.

Wait for it!

It’s almost never a good idea to keep a girl waiting, so you can imagine how it must feel for this broad to be left hanging while her man jerks off his meat in order to prepare it for some unleashing. At some point, you really do have to just throw in the towel and say “hey, I’m probably not going to be able to bust”. Sure, it might feel awful, but when push comes to shove, it makes a lot of sense to just be honest and yeah – who cares? Besides, this broad can get in touch with me if she wants to find herself a man who’s going to cum fast when she wants him to – all of my ex girlfriends tell me that I’m absolutely amazing at cumming quickly! I see it as a talent instead of an issue. Oh, what’s that – you think I’m wrong? Well, screw you, asshole.

She’s NOT happy

Listen sweetie: if you’re going to give up your body for some cash, you better believe that these dudes are going to have an absolute whale of a time with your holes. Don’t enjoy having a face covered in cum? Well, welcome to the industry: you’re not going to get very far if you cannot put on a brave cum face! It’s part of the business and every chick knows that if you ruin the money shot, well, money isn’t going to be coming your way any time soon. My advice? Enjoy that shit for the good of your career! You might not like it, but hey, it’s not like garbage men really enjoy doing what they do either. Surviving in this game isn’t easy and yeah, it’s about damn time that you learned your place and how to smile while you’re being filled with man mayo. If you’re someone who enjoy seeing unhappy women, you might want to try out some BDSM sex games – they’re fun and yes, you can cum over these whores as much as you want!

Check out cum haters on Reddit for more of the same!