Mr. Porn Geek’s Guide to Talking Dirty

How to dirty talk: Mr. Porn Geek’s advice

Note: in this article, we’re looking at both text-based and in-person sex talk. They’re both important and play off of one another.

I’ve noticed over the last few years that as more and more people use their mobiles on an hour-by-hour basis, the way we communicate with broads has completely flipped. While erotic conversations over phones used to be pretty rare, these days they’re all the rage. In this article, Mr. Porn Geek is going to offer up some high quality education – I want you to know about dirty talking and more importantly, how to talk dirty with chicks you’re hoping to bang. This won’t be the easiest thing in the world for me to go over, but I’ll certainly do my best. Am I an expert? You better believe it! Keep reading and let me give you the tips I’ve uncovered from years and years of actually doing it.

Rule 1: practice makes perfect

The first thing I’m going to touch on is the fact that you’re unlikely to become a filthy-mouthed pussy slayer with your first sexting exchange: it just doesn’t work that way. Experts tend to agree that if you want to become very good at something, the most important step toward that end is to practice it over and over again. This might be with the same girl or multiple chicks who’re down for some sexy talk, but just be sure that you’re putting in the hours and you’ll soon reap the rewards. I remembered way back in the day when I first started talking dirty with hot babes from my school – it was messy to say the very least. You get the hang of it in no time though and soon enough, you’ll be well on your way to making snatches drip with just your words alone. One super useful Mr. Porn Geek tip: consider checking out my list of the best adult chat sites to find places to refine your skills!

Rule 2: timing is everything

For some girls, they’re not at all bothered by when you talk dirty: they’ll be horny as soon as you say anything and that’ll quickly transform into sex. This is in-person dirty talking though – the situation is completely different when you’re doing it over the phone. I’ve never really had much success with trying to kick off erotic conversations in the morning: some girls just aren’t all that keen on being sexual after they’ve just woken up. There’s a limit to the power of your language when you’re doing it off-site, so don’t blow your load and use your best lines when nothing’s going to materialize. Personally, I love to use my best dirty sayings just before I’m about to meet up with the girl – this’ll set the tone for the engagement and let her know I’m down to fuck.

Rule 3: gauge her limits

There will be plenty of women out there who have absolutely no issue with you taking things to a very high degree of extremity – we’re talking about the younger chicks with no fear, lots of tattoos and a love of hardcore anal sex. Some are a little softer though, so you’re going to have to keep things tame until you train her up to take the harder stuff. Here are a few examples of quotes at different levels of limits that I think are appropriate:

• It’s going to feel amazing when I’m between your legs
• Your body’s going to look hot when it’s in my hands
• I’m going to do some very naughty things to you tonight
• Your booty looks good – I can’t wait to bite it
• You’re going to love it when we’re in your favourite position
• I hope you’re okay with me making out with you all night
• Let’s see how long we can have sex for

Some of these are in-person, others are ones you’d use over the phone. Note that this is just a guideline gang: you’re not supposed to copy and paste these verbatim. Get your own lines!

Average girls

• I’m going to eat your pussy until you can’t take it any longer
• This body is mine and I’m going to pleasure every last bit of it
• Which hole would you like me to use first? I’m open to suggestions
• You like how deep my cock is inside of you?
• You’ll look so pretty with my dick buried down your throat
• Good girls swallow – I can’t wait to give you my hot load
• Are you going to be a good girl for daddy?
• Don’t plan anything for tomorrow – you might have trouble walking
• Get on your knees and show me how much you appreciate my cock
• Make as much noise as you want, sluts are easily forgiven
• Looking forward to me making you cum over and over again?

When you’re in the heat of the moment, plenty of chicks are down for this type of thing – they’ll even reply with enthusiasm. I do recommend questions when you’re in the moment and statements over text. You may want to drop in ‘daddy’ if that’s your type of thing. Most average babes aren’t too afraid to call you that if you’re in the middle of a sex session.

Hardcore girls

• Every last hole is going to be used and abused by your master tonight. Got it?
• It’s nice having a little fuck toy around that I can play with whenever I want
• You’re A-grade fuck meat.
• You’re a little fucking whore, aren’t you?
• Cum slums have to beg for loads. Do you deserve this?
• Tell daddy how much you love him cumming inside his little girl
• Imagine if your family knew how much of a slut you were
• Want to come over tonight? I’ve got some rope with your name on it
• Let’s see how long a real whore can deep throat you cock for

Again – mix and match these depending on your situation. The point is that you want to make sure that you’re using appropriate language for each chick. I’m personally of the opinion that any girl can go from soft to hardcore – you’ve just got to train them appropriately. Dirty talk during sex is the best way to go about this, since people are willing to do a whole host of things they’d never agree to otherwise.

Rule 4: respect boundaries

I don’t want to go full permission lord here, but if the girl you’re seeing or fucking isn’t into the whole angle of dirty talk you’re going down, don’t force it. The fact of the matter is that dirty talking should be enjoyable for both parties, so if they’re not liking it, you’re not being a very good person. This is why I highly recommend asking questions or if she’s a little shy, telling her what to say. You’ll be able to tell contextually whether she’s into it or not – hesitation or reserved replies ought to make you reconsider the line that you’re taking. Remember that dirty sex only gets better when both people want it completely and have no problems whatsoever!

Rule 5: tone, cadence and more

Dudes have to appreciate that women are biologically programmed to enjoy certain things sexually and the archetype male is your best bet for roleplay. What do I mean by this, exactly? Your dirty talk needs to be manly. Simple things like lowering your volume – but also your pitch – are a great way to do this. You can obviously make a lot of noise (it’s not like men are quiet by nature), but just make sure that it’s the right type of noise. In many situations, growling between your dirty talk is a great way to add to the atmosphere. If I had to give one piece of advice on tone, cadence and that type of thing, it’d be to stick to roughness. Revert to caveman mode when that dirty talk sex session is rolling around – they’ll be cumming in an instant.

Rule 6: walk the walk

You have to appreciate that dirty talking ought not to be explored in a vacuum: combine it with some dirty fucking actions too! If you say you’re going to throat fuck her, do exactly that. I’ve written reviews in the past on websites that might give you hot ideas for actual actions in the bedroom, such as Deviant Hardcore, Wasteland and Kink. It’s really important that you talk the talk and then actually follow through – girls aren’t only interested in you saying you’re going to fuck them senseless: they actually want the lived experience. There are plenty of babes out there who’re willing to be treated like sexual objects too – see this post on Riley Reid as an example. She really is a perfect piece of fuck meat.

Final thoughts from Mr. Porn Geek

I hope this guide was at least somewhat helpful to all of the guys out there that really want to become experts in the dirty sex talk domain. This might not be the most polished of guides, but as an introduction to the topic I think it’s pretty damn stellar. I think the single best piece of advice I can give is just rule 1 – ensure that you’re doing whatever you can to practice and actually enjoy dirty talking. It’s supposed to be fun and sexy, right? So fucking do it!

Anyway, cheers for reading – Mr. Porn Geek out.