Porn Fails: The Worst Pussies, Tits & Scenes in Adult Entertainment

I was talking to a buddy the other day about porn and specifically, what I do here on this platform: bring you the best of the best. He asked me – out of curiosity – how much time I’d devoted to writing about the greatest XXX material out there and I was like: “thousands of hours!”. He then asked me what I’d done with regard to commenting on the worst of porn … which made me think about this blog article. See, while Mr. Porn Geek usually brings to the best, in this article he’s going to bring you the worst. We’re talking the least attractive pornstars, worst XXX scenes, roughest pussies and so on. I don’t know how many of your sick fucks are planning to jerk off over this stuff, but yeah – ugly porn is what’s on the menu, so I hope for your sake that you’re hungry!

Awful tits on granny pornstar

I’m going to be kicking things off here with a pretty extreme post to begin with, as it’s one of the first things I thought of when this article came to mind. A few years ago I remember watching a French pornstar with probably the worst body/tits I’ve ever come across doing a full-length scene. I don’t know who paid for this or why it even exists, but yeah – I figured it was worth putting right at the start here on my post so you know Mr. Porn Geek isn’t fucking around when he says this page is being to devoted to ugly tits and other such things.

This granny’s name is allegedly Marie Therese and from what I can piece together, she wasn’t always this … nasty. Some earlier shoots of her actually looked pretty decent, but something must’ve happened (which is obviously incredibly unfortunate) that turned her into the ugly woman porn actress you see in this clip. It’s a real shame, but I guess if you’ve been hit with anorexia and you still want to earn some cash by fucking, all the more power to you. Do many guys actually find strange tits like this enjoyable to look at, though? I guess the rest of her body is also pretty rough – I shouldn’t just be focusing on the incredibly unusual tits she has.

Best of the ugly pussy subreddit

While I was doing a little research for this blog post, I figured that it’d be a good idea to check out other communities devoted to this type of material. Reddit’s great for many things and well, turns out there’s a place for people to share images of the worst pussy out there! Shout out to all 834 subscribers of the /r/UglyPussy subreddit: you guys are doing me a solid by collecting some of the most extreme cases of ugly girl pussy. I’m sure it’s not a complete archive, but I did want to grab a few images so I could archive them here (saves you heading on over yourself, right?). Anyway, here you go gang: a few choice snaps of weird vaginas that you’ll find on /r/UglyPussy.

If you’ve ever wondered what the Shaper meant when he said “gaze into the abyss”, it’s this chicks gaping pussy hole. Look how fucking wide that thing is! This particular pussy also gets some bonus points because it’s got the nasty bits of hair all over the place. Mr. Porn Geek has seen stuff in the past that he considered to be weird pussy, but that thing just looks like a hazard to be honest. Imagine dropping your keys in there – you’d have to fish them out with a line and hook or something. Not good, man. Not good.

Again – another snatch that hasn’t been cared for in the slightest. It looks like it has a weird penis in the middle covered in a little hair. The problem with this ugly pussy is the exact opposite of the one before: too little use, as opposed to too much. Reminds me of rusted cans in the garage or something: you’ve gotta pry them open with tools if you want back inside!

Mr. Porn Geek’s a vegan, so I’ve thankfully got the ability to politely decline this weird pussy on the basis that I don’t eat meat. It’s actually crazy just how much that looks like a slab of beef or something – medium rare, of course. Hope ya’ll brought along a few chips to go along with your meal.

Honestly, I just don’t know what to say. This isn’t one of your standard ugly pussy pics – it’s hard to explain what the issue is! I suppose that both sets of lips are just too damn big: that’s not a neat pussy at all, is it? I think I’m just surprised because it seems like it’s in good working condition. Although my dad’s 1984 Ford Escort is also in ‘good working condition’ – just because something’s functional doesn’t mean you want to get inside it!

I figured that it’d be worth taking the ‘best of the worst’ and giving it to you last: this chick looks half-fuckable, given the rest of the body that she’s got going for her (no weird looking tits is a major selling point!). This is still an ugly pussy pic though: I can’t think of too many guys who’d be champing at the bit in order to eat her out. It’d be like having a full-on make-out session with a Saint Bernard.

The most popular ugly pornstar around

I think it’s a well-known fact that if you’re looking for a pornstar who’s active in the industry and really butt ugly, Sara Jay is probably your best bet. Sure, there are a few one-off chicks who’ve made a bit of cash and drawn attention to themselves for being unattractive, but she’s a pretty accomplished performer. Hell, according to Pornhub, she’s rank 22 on their platform.

It’s that big fucking nose, isn’t it? Her tits are okay, the arse is fine: just the fucking snout on this chick that really makes you think twice before jerking it. I’m not even going to feel bad for calling Sara out on this shit because it’s not like she’s some love-and-kisses positive chick that doesn’t dish out the hate from time to time. Don’t believe me? Well how about I introduce you to my little friend: Twitter. Back in 2011 (okay, I know it’s 8 years ago, but still), Sara Jay wrote this:

Ugly trannys are the worst

— Sara Jay (@SaraJayXXX) June 4, 2011

Bitch, you are in NO position to be talking about other things being ugly when you look like a crackhead hooker that earns her keep through sucking off truck drivers. Also, for the record, it’s trannies, not trannys. Maybe your opinion would be a little more interesting if you had a basic grasp of the English language.

Dakota Skye: modern version

I guess in isolation, the current state of Dakota Skye isn’t exactly terrible, but when you compare this girl to how she used to be … man, I feel so fucking sorry for her. Two years ago I wrote up a blog post on Dakota and her cute bubble butt: she did good work over on Team Skeet (shameless plug: check out my Team Skeet deal page for a porn offer you can’t refuse!) but in recent times, well let’s just say that things haven’t gone so well for her.

Hold up – I actually just went to Pornhub in order to find the collection of videos I saw of Dakota performing in 2019: they’ve all been deleted! This fucking SUCKS man. I wanted to show you just how messy everything got with that chick. Oh well, I guess all I can really do is go ahead and show you the few thumbnails I managed to grab from Google’s image search.

UPDATE: I managed to find ONE video from this set with the chubby dude on TheGay.com. It’ll probably be deleted at some point, so don’t expect this to last forever. Watch here.

Such a shame what happened to this girl. She used to be so pretty – now she’s recording amateur porn while high as a kite listening to songs about daddy issues. I’d take you in Dakota – I’d take real good care of you and get you off the nasty stuff. Just make sure that you keep that tight gash fresh as fuck and let me have a go on it every once in a while and you’ll be back to normal in no time at all! Stop fucking these ugly ass no-name dudes when Mr. Porn Geek can nurture you.

Pretty Japanese Girl has weird pussy

I cannot believe that the ONE time a Japanese porn video is sent to me uncensored, the girl’s pussy in it is just a fucking mess. That’s literally the sort of luck that Mr. Porn Geek has and he’s really not happy about it. I’m never lucky when it comes to people sending me great porn! This one was actually emailed to me by a fan of the website because I said in a review once that all Asian girls have great pussies – turns out I was wrong and yes, I have updated the review to reflect reality. Almost all Asian girls have great pussies.

If the chick’s pretty face has got you in the mood for some good quality Japanese porn, I invite you to check out my review on JAV HD. This place has over 700 models – all of which have exclusive scenes on the platform. I’ve been inside this website before and yeah – didn’t see a single pussy that was even close to being as bad as this one!

Kylee Nash: ugly boobs on steroids

I found this chick who uploads all of her own videos to Pornhub and while that pussy is pretty damn stellar, these are some weird looking tits if you ask me.

I do have to give it to this chick though: she does have a lot of content and doesn’t seem to mind that her tit job is probably one of the worst in the business. I decided to one of the random clips I came across: she has over 250 on her channel that you might want to look at. The camera man really needs to get his fucking act together though, constantly making noises by hitting the buttons and shit. Guy’s fingers tapping on the plastic really piss me off – stop fucking doing that, asshole!

Have you ever seen weird shaped tits like this before? I mean let’s just be real – I think it’s totally fine for Mr. Porn Geek to describe these as being literally some of the worst knockers in the business, right? They’re just not attached to her chest at all! They’re floating there, like a sack or something. Such a shame because it does seem like Kylee wants to make it big in adult entertainment. Maybe everyone should go donate a few bucks to her channel so she can get that rack fixed. As far as porn fails go, this is a pretty big one.

Some final thoughts on these porn fails

Look man, I don’t want to be mean to anyone in this post (except of course Sara Jay for her dumbass Tweet about transsexuals, that equestrian looking bitch can go fuck herself with a horse cock) but yeah – turns out that not everyone in the game is perfect. Does Mr. Porn Geek have an amazing body that was built for the business? Fuck no, but by the same token: I’m not out there taking pictures of my asshole for everyone to look at! At the end of the day, it’s all supposed to be a bit of a laugh – I hope you enjoyed my little list of the worst pussies, tits and XXX scenes in porn!

Think I’ve missed a very obvious piece of content? Reach out and let me know. If it improves this page, I’ll add it to the list!