Erotic Monkey

Erotic Monkey Review

Erotic Monkey describes itself as being ‘your discrete source for quality escort reviews’ and as many will know, Mr. Porn Geek is a bit of a fan of sites that allow people to comment, rate and talk about third-party services. For some reason, escorts in the industry generally don’t like the idea of being reviewed, but the fact of the matter is that the only real reason you’d have not to want a review written about you is if you’re the type of person to receive poor ratings! It’s a fact of life and capitalism that holding service providers accountable is important – the more informed the user, the better. Anyhow, I’ll stop waffling on now about why I support escort review platforms and instead, talk to you about one of them. Continue on as I venture over to EroticMonkey and give you the full site analysis!

Erotic Monkey site analysis

Before getting too deep here, I do want to mention early on that EroticMonkey.ch is heavily focus on the American escort market (and no, this is NOT a dating site). In fact, I think it only covers girls from US-based states. That’s too bad if you’re English, Australian or from another part of the world where you’re hunting down no strings attached escort fun: unless you’re a Yank, this isn’t the platform for you.

What parts of the US are covered? Well for a start we’ve got the big-ticket destinations such as Chicago, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York City and San Diego, but don’t count out the lesser-populated parts of the United States, including Tampa, Omaha, Nashville and even Honolulu. I was even impressed to see over 400 listed escorts for Anchorage – when it’s cold outside and there’s not much to do, having sex seems like a pretty appropriate course of action! In total, there are over 34,000 girls on EroticMonkey.ch, all of which have a review attached to them. Those are some big numbers and they let you know that EroticMonkey is serious about the business they engage in.

Escort review site: how Erotic Monkey works

After clicking on a region of the United States that you’re looking for escorts from, you’ll get a list sorted initially by the most recent review. Note that you can use the filtering at the top of the page to instead have girls listed based on number of reviews, highest average rating and last time on the website. EroticMonkey does let escorts advertise themselves here and some of the ladies will end up in the ‘featured’ area if they do a stellar enough job of providing men with mind-blowing companionship services. Some girls have dozens of reviews too – I even saw a few with over 100 different recommendations! Talk about staying loyal to the trade: some of these girls know the ins and outs of escorting and then some. Browse the forum at your own pace to see what’s going on. Good luck finding a better free discrete source – you simply won’t be able to.

Anyway, once you think you’ve found an escort girl you’re interested in reading about, click on their profile to read more about them. Note that to have a look at the actual reviews, you will be required to sign up to the website. I’m personally okay with this, since all they require is a username, password and email address (my advice: use a burner email if you’re worried about it being traced back to you!) and nothing else. The escort reviews seem all legitimate and written by people who are serious about their experiences. One thing that makes it quite obvious is that they aren’t all 100% positive – some of the guys give pros and cons of each girl and aren’t afraid to talk shop in a frank and honest fashion. It’s refreshing for a change to have someone like Mr. Porn Geek – a guy who gives you the good and the bad no matter what.

The Erotic Monkey site forums

EroticMonkey also has some forums that people might find interesting. Alongside sub-sections for each city, they’ve also got a general questions area and a place for people to find sugar babies. A few boards were also devoted to AAMPs – for those that don’t know, this stands for ‘apartment Asian massage parlor’: they’re popular for getting a decent rub and tug, plus there seems to be quite a lot in the South Bay and Peninsula areas. There were close to 7,000 posts on AAMPs alone at the time of writing this review – seems like folks just can’t get enough of talking about massage parlors with sexy Asian girls ready to work your shaft senseless! Sites like Erotic Monkey are always great if you love Eastern babes tugging away at your sausage. They won’t put this type of animalistic behavior on the Discovery Channel any time soon, that’s for sure!

Adding your own reports on Erotic Monkey

While it’s all well and good having a place for you to find reviews of escorts that have featured on the site, what is a person to do when they’ve had an experience and they want to write a review themselves? Well naturally, it’s easy as pie to get set up on Erotic Monkey for your own writing purposes – it doesn’t even matter if the girl isn’t on the site, since you can add them manually. These are some of the features that a lot of escort fans have been looking for online and to be honest with you, I’m so glad that Erotic Monkey provides you with a way to do exactly that. Long gone are the days of only being able to talk about a chick if she’s registered – this place keeps it real and lets you write about any service provider you’ve had the pleasure (or displeasure) or spending some time with.

Other website features for quality escort reviews

There’s not a whole lot more going on at EroticMonkey, but I think one interesting feature is that you can hit a ‘safe browsing’ button which removes all of the images on the site and just displays text. I’m not entirely sure what the purpose of this is, since it still says ‘Your discreet source for discrete reviews of escorts’ at the top of the page! Interestingly enough, they spell the word ‘discrete’ differently in their page title and on the web page itself: one is used by mathematicians and one is used for people interested in privacy. I’m sure I make spelling mistakes myself from time to time, but I always love pointing out inconsistencies whenever I see them. Any girl that realizes how smart I am always wants to fuck me. That’s why Mr. Porn Geek is surrounded by beautiful ladies – I know a great site when I see one and slide them to the very top of my leaderboard when it’s suitable!

The downsides of Erotic Monkey

So let’s be real for a second here: what are the bad aspects of EroticMonkey.ch? It’s all well and good me heaping on praise, but I think it shows a level of authenticity if I also talk about the not-so-pleasant elements of the network. First off, I do want to state for the record that it being only limited to the United States market is a little disappointing – I don’t mind if they just add entire countries to the list (instead of 4-5 cities in those countries) – but no doubt there are plenty of folks overseas that access EroticMonkey and leave disappointed when they realize the site isn’t really all that useful since they don’t live in America.

Additionally, Erotic Monkey requires an account in order for you to read escort reviews: I think that it’d be convenient if you could at least read the most recent 3 or something without signing up. I don’t like giving out my personal information when there’s no need for me to do so and naturally, it’s not like it doesn’t take time to register for an escort website. Plus you can run into a whole host of issues after that point, such as the confirmation email not sending, entering your password incorrectly (it doesn’t have a double entry system to verify accurate input) and so on. It’s not the end of the world but yeah – Mr. Porn Geek isn’t a fan. When you’re hunting for escort contact information, you do NOT want to be spending ages doing it. Just show me the latest forum reviews at least, goddamn it!

Erotic Monkey Advanced search feature

One final thing I do want to mention is that Erotic Monkey has quite a nice advanced search feature: you can pick a girl based on a wide array of metrics. These include things like age, height, hair color, ethnicity and what types of services they provide. You can even look for pornstars on the site if you want a truly unique experience – there are quite a few on there that have worked in the industry before. It’s great to also get the newest escort reviews and other details on erotic massage offers you might be interested in. Age is my favorite tool: love a young girl in my life.

The ethnicity filtering access is the go-to selection here for most dudes. Choose girls who are Asian, Latina, Indian, Arabic or ebony – you’ll never fail to find some interesting and exotic delights thanks to the advanced escort search tool that EroticMonkey has to offer. I really do appreciate a spot with an advanced search engine and any escort monkey addict will know exactly what I’m talking about with this review site provision. It makes the desire to hire escorts from dudes like me that much higher. They also have body type and breast type filtering, with ass type as a sub-option if you really want to dig deep into it.

I think we can forget a world of live sex cams for now: any escort ad here is going to make you forget about XXX fun online. About a quarter of the posts are girls I’d pay massive bucks in order to spend a night with! If you are a porn dude, why not become an escort dude instead? You know it makes sense to search this place for an escort in your city! You can read reviews so easily: that’s what I always search for online.

Final thoughts and considerations

EroticMonkey.ch offers people a convenient and enjoyable way to learn about escorts, read their coverage and access new companions that they can contact directly through the site. The design is nice, it’s focused entirely on the United States and it has quite a large user base with thousands of reports. All things considered, it’s hard to find fault with Erotic Monkey here: they seem to know what they’re doing and make their site as easy to use as possible.

Save for a few small problems, I think this is one of the better escort review platforms that the Internet has to offer. Check it out today and find hot escorts – you can’t go wrong here with Erotic Monkey!