Alive Masturbator

Mr. Porn Geek Uses the Alive Masturbator

I finally got around to ordering an Alive Masturbator after a month or so of considering it – I’ve heard a few good things about this brand, but believe me: it takes a lot to get Mr. Porn Geek to consider any physical devices these days. Alas, I’m here with my dick – and I’ve got the Alive to see what it has to bring to the toy table. Will I recommend this as the go-to product if you’re looking to jerk yourself silly? Potentially: but I’m going to put it through its paces to see what’s going on before I give my full endorsement. So, without further ado, let’s see what the Alive Masturbator is all about!

Modern technology as the bedrock of Alive Masturbator

It’s clear to me that these guys take the tech of their machine incredibly seriously – this thing is something that an engineer would be proud of. The build quality is decent, and with quite a few moving elements, it’s pretty cool how they’ve managed to put it all together in a device that’s suited for your cock. They’ve allegedly got a dual motor patent and although I didn’t go reading into this too much, I do take them at their word and believe that it’s probably true. The end result is synchronized strokes that you won’t get from any competitive device – they’re really selling this tech, and it seems to be well ahead of what the competition has to offer.

A little talk on the marketing claims

One of their marketing claims is that it’s 99% similar to a real pussy: I mean, really? How do you even go ahead and actually measure that type of thing? Is it just how tight it is? The warmth? The pleasure you get from the device? It’s a little meaningless when you think about it, but after trying it out myself: it’s actually not too shabby. Would I say that it took me to ecstasy in less than 10 seconds, like the website proclaims? I’ve got mixed feelings about that, for sure. Don’t get me wrong: it’s far better than the Fleshlight I used a few years ago, but I wasn’t busting my beans in one-sixth of a minute. I don’t think anyone really wants that in the first place though – right?

Technical details on Alive Masturbator

Alive are made from skin-safe materials that are free of all phthalates. The chances of you having an adverse reaction to this thing are pretty much non-existent. Additionally, they’ve undergone clinical testing via Aspen Clinical Research to ensure that the product is suitable for usage on your shaft – no known issues or concerns. Alive also has their patents listed on their main website, so if you want to really go into the specifics of how their product works, there are a bunch of listings for you to take a look at. Companies like this, in my experience, stick around for a long time. This isn’t some dodgy generic Asian import – it’s a product that they’ve put a lot of time and effort into designing and creating.

Alive Masturbator and shipping

It seems like the company is currently offering free shipping, regardless of where you are in the world. They also have a great support team that’s available for contact via phone quite frequently, and they’ve got around-the-clock help available via email if that’s more your approach (I don’t blame you when it comes to these types of devices). Note that they have two colors available, but only one device: they may come out with more in the future, but what you see here is what you get. There aren’t dozens of choices or much of a decision-making process at all: pretty damn cool if you ask me.

My final thoughts on Alive Masturbator

The price is steep – do I think it’s worth it? I’m not actually a huge fan of masturbators, but look: if you’re going to get a device that does it all for you, it’s probably worth splashing out and getting something that’s really effective. The Alive One is clearly that: they’ve put a lot of effort and energy into getting it right, and they’ve probably got the best product on the market. If you’re a deal hound it might not quite be in your budget, but for everyone else: I think it’s a long-term investment that’s going to pay off.