BEArchive

What’s up with BEArchive?

The BEArchive is the Breast Expansion Archive, and it is an odd little porn site. Firstly, be ready to make a account straight away if you want to check out this site. For some stupid reason, you can’t check out what this site is about at all before you sign up. You load up the site and then a little cunt pop ups and demands you log in or sign up. What the fuck is this shit? Why are you making me sign up to a site I don’t know anything about yet? “can I just explore a bit”, “no, sign up, do it now”, “why” “so you can see our stuff” “what if I decide I don’t like your porn” “too late”.

I hate porn sites that lock you out like this. Look at all the porn reviews on this site, think about how many accounts I have on random shitty porn sites! I ain’t saying that BEArchive is shit, but this ain’t the best start. Let’s delve into the massive cleavage of BEArchive and see what the fuck is going on. Could probably hiding a lot of shit in these tits!

What actually is BEArchive?

I am still trying figure out what the fuck BEArchive is offering me. I think it is offering me a shit load of massive boobs, but I am confused. I can see a little cunt wearing, clearly, fake massive boobs, wandering around near a boat and then some cartoons of some women with massive boobs. Are there any boobs on this site that are real?

Is this site just about massive boobs that are either drawn or not actually someone’s boobs in real life? Why does this site exist? I’m not pissed of (yet) just very confused and feel slightly awkward. So, what is BEArchive? Honestly, put a gun to my head, and I still couldn’t tell you! I have no clue what the fuck is going on with this site, I am pretty sure I don’t like it, though.

There’s lots of comics on BEArchive

When you go on BEArchive and they force you to sign up, there is some clickable shit at the bottom of the page, I had a look, and it is a link to another website that holds a fuck load of porn comics that BEArchive has made (I think). The comics look pretty good, but I was shocked at the price! I’m going to cover the outrageous prices on BEArchive in just a minute, but hell!

The comics did look cool, though. The artwork in these porn comics looks very professional, no fucking clue what the comics are about as you don’t really get that information on BEArchive or this other site. This site is all about guessing what the porn is about and then buying your way into it if you’re right, it’s odd! Speaking of buying porn.

The price of BEArchive is insane!

Right, I’m pissed off now. So the porn comics I just told you about, start at about $7 and go up to $20. I have no idea why the massive increase, perhaps the $20 porn comic is a lot better than the cheaper one. I do get the porn comic prices, these look to be really good, so I can see people who are into cartoon porn and massive boobs buying these comics. However, what I can’t see is why the fuck anyone would buy a membership to this site, particularly when you still have to pay for the porn comics if you do! All you are getting with the membership is the privilege of being a member of a dumb site!

Membership costs are pretty high for this porn site. Basically, because I can’t be bothered to try and explain their idiotic pay system, it works out at $20 a month. Now, lots of porn places charge this much, but other porn places at least tell you what the site is about! Some porn places offer a fuck load free to visitors, sometimes too much. If it takes you seconds to cum like me, often the free shit is all you need to have a damn good time. BEArchive offers you fuck all unless you become a member.

Now, you can, of course, become a free member of BEArchive which gives you restricted access to the site. However, I doubt any cunt is paying for a membership to BEArchive after the free one because there really doesn’t look like there’s much on this website. It looks baron and pointless! I love massive boobs, but so far, this massive boob site has been nothing but a massive disappointment.

The Geek’s final thoughts on BEArchive

Would I get a free membership for BEArchive? Nope, peeking through the shield of the login screen, I could see fuck all that appealed to me. If I had a massive boob obsession (which I do, but not massive boobs, just a massive boob obsession) then I would gladly sign up, maybe. In fact, na, all the shit on this site is fake as fuck or drawn, what’s the point? There’s plenty of real women with real massive tits.

Would I become a paid member of this site? You’re having a laugh! I don’t become a member of any site that doesn’t show me what the fuck the porn is about beforehand so I wouldn’t give these cunts any of my money! Not a chance in hell! $20 a month is a shocking amount for a site that makes you fucking guess what’s inside, fuck em!