Earth Chan

Mr. Porn Geek plays Earth Chan

I’ve played a lot of porn games over the last few months and I was quite surprised to see that Earth Chan is actually built on the WebGL Unity engine – this would suggest to me that it’s quite a recent title! Do note that some places might refer to this game as ‘A Date With Earth Chan’, but to keep things neat and tidy, I’ll just call it Earth Chan – Mr. Porn Geek hates long titles! Anyway, the premise here is pretty simple: you’ve got to hang out with a sexy minx who looks like a planet and if you’re lucky, things might end up getting a little bit erotic. Sounds fun, but what’s the reality here actually like? To find out, I’m going to take Earth Chan for a spin – continue reading and we’ll get to the bottom of what Earth Chan has to offer!

First thoughts on Earth Chan

When you load up Earth Chan for the first time, you’ll see that it has a few different options on the splash for you to select. The two main ones are the new game and load game feature: I really enjoy the second, as it means that even after you bust a nut the first time around, you can come back, play the porn game where you left off and squeeze the hog again and again. Below these options, you’ll also be able to look at the gallery, extra stuff and some credits. Mr. Porn Geek doesn’t want to beat around the bush seeing who is credited with working on Earth Chan, so instead, I’ll just smash the ‘new game’ button and let you know what’s going on. Continue reading and I’ll give you the full story.

Playing A Date With Earth Chan

The game starts off completely pitch black – a text box will appear at the bottom saying that the smell of the ocean is a result of rotting seaweed: quite cool if you think about it. Also note that you can save, auto select, skip scenes and load if you made a mistake: I like when dating simulations give you this opportunity. You’ll then find yourself on a nice platform alongside the sea – a shop is on the left and while it looks like it has lots of tasty options for you to pick from, you’re here for another purpose other than satiating your hunger. Continue reading the dialog and Earth Chan will soon approach. She says ‘Sun-kun!’ and allegedly has a sweet voice: did I mention that this porn game was from a Japanese producer?

Soon enough, Earth Chan appears in front of you. She’s got blue and green hair (exactly like the planet), a rather formal button-up shirt and then a short green miniskirt accompanied by thigh-high socks. This is very much going to be one of those games that weeaboos will be squeezing their hog to. I’m not even that big into hentai and stuff, but yeah – she’s a delightful dish that is very delicious to look at. Your first decision here will give you the option to explain to Earth Chan where the sea smell comes from, tell her that you love her or wish her happy birthday. I’m not sure if the two latter options are at all reasonable, so I decided to go for the sea smell one – it’s a good fact, right?

Dialog at Earth Chan

After selecting your option, Earth Chan will react. Her facial reaction will change depending on what you said and she’ll also give you unique dialogs as a result of your statements. Based on my previous experiences with dating simulations, Earth Chan will judge you based on what you say too: don’t think that your words don’t have consequences, because you could end up wasting your time and say something grossly offensive that puts you in the dog house! Earth Chan will actually ask you questions too from time to time – the first of which is her age. Pro tip: Earth Chan isn’t 2019 years old; she’s closer to 4.5 billion! That is unless you’re an Evangelical Christian – if you are, why on Earth are you reading a review about a hentai game? Someone has a lot of explaining to do!

You ought to be prepared for a lot of dialog in A Date With Earth Chan – this game is heavy on the discussion side of things and you don’t really make much movement around a map or anything else of the sort. I’m more than comfortable with this, but I think a few people will be put off by the fact that this is the approach taken. Still, Japanese dating simulation fans will be more than comfortable, so yeah – I think the genre is matched well and anyone looking to jerk off to this type of game is going to get what they want. Anyway, I hope your knowledge on the planet is pretty decent, because you’ll be asked a series of questions throughout the date and if you get them right, you’ll end up being sexually rewarded as a result. The erotic scenes here are very hot and the options plentiful, but I’ll let you discover them in your own time: Mr. Porn Geek doesn’t want to be accused of spoiling things! Especially not after the whole Game of Thrones fiasco. My girlfriend didn’t talk to me for 4 days!

The conclusion on A Date With Earth Chan

All things considered – what is Mr. Porn Geek’s verdict on Earth Chan? I think this title is pretty well polished and while the theme is a little questionable, after just a few question and answer sessions, you’ll be having sex with a hentai parody of planet Earth. It’s a very unique concept for an adult game and I know plenty of you folks will love it – not just the hippies with a passion for trees and the environment or whatever. So yeah – Mr. Porn Geek would like to go ahead here and state that Earth Chan really does deliver: try it out for yourself and you’ll see what I mean! Thanks for tuning in – remember to come back whenever you need fresh advice on the best places around for XXX games.