High Card XXX

Mr. Porn Geek plays High Card XXX

I’m sure plenty of the people who come by Mr. Porn Geek’s website on a regular basis have noticed that I’ve made quite a shift in recent months toward writing about the best porn games on the market. This is by no accident – I noticed a gap in the market and realized that I had to be the guy to fill it! Mr. Porn Geek is something of an expert when it comes to video games in general: he’s playing everything from Battlefield 2 through to Dofus, League of Legends and even Chess! Today, I’m picking something that’s a little simpler though: it’s called High Card XXX and for all intents and purposes, it’s going to be a stellar title that’ll have me jerking off in no time at all. So yeah, let’s venture over to High Card XXX and see what the deal is (haha, get it … deal? Okay, my puns suck.).

First thoughts on High Card XXX

Unlike a lot of porn games that I’ve played in the past, High Card XXX gets you into the action pretty much immediately. You’ll notice that there’s no splash screen, ability to load or options here – just an instant experience in the mix that’s going to show you what’s what when it comes to gambling and enjoying great tits. To actually play the game, you’ll want to hit the shuffle deck button that’s flashing in the middle. By the way, the situation here is that you’re a dude in jeans sitting opposite a blonde – also in jeans – and you’ve both got cards in your hands. She’s slightly more tanned than you, but that’s because she loves being at the beach and jerks off strangers whenever she can (at least in my fantasy that’s what’s going on).

After shuffling, nothing will happen. The game will literally pause – until you decide to hit on the deck once more and it’ll deal a random card. XXX High Card isn’t that complicated to understand: whoever has the highest card wins and the other person has to take off an item of clothing. If you win a round, you’ll also get a video  to play, or you can go straight back to dealing if you’d like to try and get the broad naked. The video is a hardcore threesome clip that’s in reasonable quality – the action is quite hot too: something that I know a lot of men would be happy with experiencing in real life.

Playing more rounds of High Card XXX

You’ll notice that the blonde is now shoeless – too bad, since I’d rather she lost every single item of clothing apart from the shoes! Don’t worry, whenever you lose a hand, you won’t be forced to watch a video of your twink ass getting fucked hard by some hung bear – it just gives you the option to deal again. Whenever you manage to get another victory, the scene that you have access to will now change – it’s still the same threesome though, just a different angle. Side note: I love the idea of two girls kissing while I’m fucking one of them. How erotic and sensual is that? The sort of thing that will make me bust a nut in no time at all.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking here, because you’re a high IQ intelligent alpha that wants to understand exactly how a game functions: what happens when someone gets an ace? Turns out that High Card XXX treats the ace as being unbeatable, so it’s exactly the same as poker. I got beaten twice in a row from an ace too, which ended up with me being completely naked, whereas the blonde broad kept most of her clothing on. The good news is that this doesn’t end the game – she says that she’s horny and wants to continue playing. It’s nice that even when you lose in a game with lots of RNG, you’re bailed out by the opposition being a slut. That’s a great touch that I think all of the Mr. Porn Geek hog squeezers are going to be very happy to discover.

More sex scenes at High Card XXX

On your third victory, High Card XXX will then turn to an outdoor scene where three girls are pleasuring two men – I’d prefer it to be 3 on 1 if it were me, but I’m not complaining if there are more broads than cocks: that’s still a party that I’d accept an invite to! Other scenes are also available once you win and to be fair, the quality of the sex scenes is pretty good. These guys have got 720p footage by the looks of things. Once the chick gets fully naked, you’ll watch a double penetration scene of some blonde getting railed in both holes at the same time – talk about a total whore! The game will then loop back to you playing with a friend of the original blonde – she’s clothed and you are too.

My complaints about High Card XXX

I generally like at least some level of skill requirement in the games that I play, so the fact that High Card XXX is completely out of your control seems a little weird. It’s not much of a game, as it is ‘click here and see porn’. Why wouldn’t I just go and actually see the videos? They’re gated, but it’s not gated behind anything that you’ll need to work on. I’m not a big fan of that, but I am a serious gamer, so that’s probably why.

High Card XXX: my conclusion

So yeah – how do I feel when all is said and done about High Card XXX? I think the scenes are pretty decent and the premise of the game is okay: I’m just not sure whether or not I think of this as being a gaming title. Plenty of folks are going to like it and that’s okay, but you could just as easily go over to Mr. Porn Geek’s porn tube reviews and get yourself some gangbang videos if you really wanted. I’m on the fence about High Card XXX – check it out for yourself and let me know what you think in the comments section! That’s all for this review: cheers for reading and happy squeezing – Mr. Porn Geek loves you!