Pinocchio’s Birthday

Mr. Porn Geek plays Pinocchio’s Birthday

Today, Mr. Porn Geek is going to be reviewing yet another porn game – I know, right? I’ve been hammering these out over the last few weeks, simply because they’re so great to play and I love writing about them, plus you guys just seem to want nothing more than to jerk off to great adult games! It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved, so let’s go ahead right now and see what Pinocchio’s Birthday is all about. I’m sure you’re all excited and to be frank, I can’t wait to see what this one has in store for me. I’ve heard great things, but I’d like to experience them first-hand before I sign off on it, so let’s go ahead and do exactly that.

First impression of Pinocchio’s Birthday

Before I get right into the gameplay here, I do just want to note that I’m playing the latest patch of Pinocchio’s Birthday – I’ll try to keep this page updated so the link that you get is always to the newest update. I can’t promise anything, but from what I understand, patches for Pinocchio’s Birthday aren’t exactly rare: I’ll keep my eye on the situation anyway, so have no fear! With that out of the way, let’s actually crack the game open and see what’s inside.

First things first, the initial interactive experience you have here on Pinocchio’s Birthday is the ‘play’ button that appears on the splash screen. I was slightly disappointed that there are no options here – simply because I have to mute the browser tab, since the music is quite loud and annoying. I understand what game developers put various tracks into their releases, but please allow me to mute it from inside your actual client! It would also be nice to be able to separate sound effects from music, so that if I only want one, I’ll get one.

Playing Pinocchio’s Birthday

The game kicks off with Pinocchio complaining that his cock is always flaccid. He’s standing there in his cozy crib, looking down and his cock and wearing what I’d describe as one of the most ridiculous outfits ever. If you’re going to be essentially naked and you’re indoors, take your damn shoes off! It’s not that complicated, sheesh. Turns out that it’s actually Pinocchio’s birthday today and he wants to get drunk and fuck someone, with Snow White or Red Riding Hood being viable candidates for the boning. Your boy gets a visit from a fairy in no time at all and she points out that it’s her fault his cock can’t get hard – she never accounted for the male vigor when she turned him into a boy! Now that Pinocchio’s a little on the older side, he really needs something that can help him with his floppy cock. What can the fairy do?!

Turns out that a little flick of the wand gives Pinocchio the cock that he wants – long, thick and hard. It does come with one caveat though: after midnight, he’ll lose his long dong and go back to having the flaccid, useless dick he previously operated. Better to make the most use out of his shaft while he’s got it, right? That’s what I’m hoping for anyway. I always felt a bit bad for Pinocchio – but now he’s finally going to get his meat stick inside some pussy and it’s going to feel great!

Pinocchio’s Birthday – more gameplay fun

After the fairy heads off, you’ll be tasked with picking from Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Red Riding Hood. I’ve always had a thing for Snow White, so that was my first port of call. After clicking on her portrait, I was transferred through to her house – dick in hand – with an arrow showing me which room she was in. Snow White sure has grown a little since the last time I saw her! Those milkers are literally bursting and she’s looking hot as fuck in that see-through dress too (hairy pussy, just FYI).

She’s not exactly pleased to see you, but after one tug of your cock, she’s completely naked and wondering what the hell is going on. Turns out that this gets her nice and wet, so you then get the choice to enjoy a blowjob, titty fuck, pussy bang or straight-up anal entertainment. I decided to kick things off with a blowjob and got those perfect Snow White pillows around my dick. You control the speed and can choose to speed up or slow down – watch the meter on the right-hand side and when you’re ready to cum, just hit the button! The same thing applies to the anal and titty fucking scene, as well as the other girls that you can bang. This is basically the entire gameplay element of Pinocchio’s Birthday and while it requires very little skill, it is very enjoyable indeed!

My complaints about Pinocchio’s Birthday

I’ll keep this section short and sweet, because I don’t want to be known as ‘Mr. Moan Geek’: I wasn’t a fan of the audio situation and lack of options, neither did I rate the rather lengthy introduction and short dialog text boxes. I think the English used could be improved a little – this clearly isn’t produced by a native speaker. The artwork is fine, but perhaps a little bit too shiny for me. Pinocchio also looks like a clown with that damn hat on – let him take it off for god’s sake!

My conclusion on Pinocchio’s Birthday

Certainly one of the less intellectually stimulating porn games out there, but I still had a blast playing Pinocchio’s Birthday and I’m sure that you will too. This is basically just a sex simulation game where you play a classic animated character and get to fuck all the Disney ass, pussy and mouth you can muster. It’s an interesting idea and the execution is pretty good, so no complaints from me – a full recommendation and seal of approval! Cheers for reading yet another porn game review by Mr. Porn Geek: now go and play Pinocchio’s Birthday.