Plumber and Princess

Mr. Porn Geek plays Plumber & Princess

For anyone who’s ever played video games for more than five minutes, I probably don’t need to explain to you who’s featured in Plumber & Princess. If you’re new to the scene, well let me tell you all about Mario and Peach! Starting dozens of years ago, Mario was a fun plumber that first came to prominence from his feature in a Japanese console game known as the Super Mario Brothers. Today, I’m going to be playing a game that contains Mario – a porn parody version, mind you – and his quest to get up inside that Peach pussy. Want to know whether or not Plumber & Princess swings? Continue reading and find out!

First thoughts on Plumber & Princess

When the game loads up and you’re on the splash screen, you’ll see that the game itself actually comes from a Japanese studio, since all of the people featured in the credits have anime sounding names. Right in the middle of the screen, you have the ability to start the game or fiddle with the options – that’s it! Since Mr. Porn Geek wants to know whether or not Plumber & Princess has a lot of customization, he’s going to select the second menu tab and guide you through it.

Turns out that the settings page at Plumber & Princess also has the controls covered, so you’ll know what you’re able to do and how to control your character. Note that players can utilize the left-hand or right-hand side of their keyboard for gameplay – something I’m very happy with. Standard gamers will be confident with the WASD setup they have! In the top left-hand side of the settings, you can change the image quality (which appears to be anti-aliasing) and then next to it, there’s a single volume slider that I’m happy to see. Alongside having English and Japanese language options, you’ve also got Taiwanese Mandarin – seems like a weird third choice, but that’s the situation we find ourselves in! The middle of the options also has some limits for ejaculation limits and penetration – I don’t know what these do, so I’m going to leave them alone. Once you’re done fiddling, hit the ‘back to the main menu’ button at the bottom and yeah – it’s time to start the game!

Staring up Plumber & Princess

The game will begin with the mushroom dude talking to you about the water supply system issue that allegedly plagues the Castle. What’s good about Mario is the fact that he happens to be a plumber, so this is definitely within the bounds of what he’s able to fix. Once the situation has been explained, you’ll be shown a screen that allows you to input your initial character options. You can improve your stamina, strength or life, as well as pick out a few benefits such as star upgrades and keys to unlock treasure boxes. Note that these can’t be touched right now – just observe and see what comes when you have points to spend. Hit the ‘accept’ button and you’ll finally get on with your gameplay of Plumber & Princess!

My first play through of Plumber & Princess

Look, I’ll just come out and say it: this game is really fucking hard, dude! You’re not going to have an easy time playing this, so if you thought the one-handed jerk off experience would be possible, think again. I actually cannot think of a single adult game I’ve played lately that came even close to the roughness of Plumber & Princess – I died multiple times and I’m a serious gamer! Your objective is to collect up all of the pipe pieces and you do this by smashing rocks. You’ll be able to use your first, but you can also find things like bombs and hammers to assist you – just note that these aren’t infinite, so you don’t want to waste them early. Behind each rock, you’ll also find that from time to time, an enemy exists. You’ve got to be quick with your reaction, because these little guys can really fuck you over and you die instantly, forcing you back to the main screen! I was really surprised just at how tough this game is: an average casual gamer is going to have a lot of trouble here.

Improvements I’d recommend for Plumber & Princess

If I had to make Plumber & Princess better, what would I do? For a start – have a settings option for difficulty! I know I’ve complained a lot about it, but sheesh: good luck feeling comfortable playing this game based on how rough and annoying it is when you die all the damn time to random shit. I’d also like to see the fist do a little more damage, as you can be required to hack away at rocks on a regular basis – that’s a big pain in the ass. I suppose an additional option to use a character other than Mario would be good. Perhaps a guy who’s green and a little less popular? Sounds good to me! As for the final piece of advice and criticism I have on Plumber & Princess: please start the game off with a quick tutorial. You get straight into the mix and it’s hard to know what’s going on. So much stuff has to be self-taught, instead of explained to you briefly with a nice introduction to the game.

Plumber & Princess: Mr. Porn Geek’s conclusion

For me, the circumstances under which I’d recommend this game would be to anyone who likes a challenge. I’ve reviewed hundreds of adult games now and none of them come close to Plumber & Princess in terms of difficulty. Maybe I’m just a huge scrub noob, but I don’t think that’s the case – Plumber & Princess is just a tough nut to crack. Instant death is a big turn-off personally: that’s going to make a lot of gamers salty! Anyhow folks, thanks for reading and remember – you’re always welcome back to Mr. Porn Geek’s review platform if you want advice on the best adult games out there for hot fun!