HDPornos

HD Pornos – why the fuck have you done this?

When I saw the name of this porn site I said to myself “if the porn on this site isn’t all HD, I am going to tear this site a new asshole and then fuck the hole, because I am a sexy man with many attributes that a girl will one day find attractive”. I then went on HD Pornos to discover, to my shock and horror, that pretty much none of the porn on the site is HD. It probably used to be considered HD when the porn was shot, but it is definitely standard definition nowadays.

I am barely pissed off, to be honest. I knew the moment I saw this porn site’s name, that the porn videos wouldn’t be HD. Why would they, most cunting, shitting, awful porn sites like these blue-ball you like this, so why would this load of shit be any different? As I stare into a long day of loneliness once more and hope that one day I will find a site and a girl that is true to their name, let’s delve deep into this site and find out whether it has any porn on it that is HD and whether or not the porn can save this site from a life of disappointment.

The Standard Definition porn on HD Pornos

Many moons ago, someone invented cameras and camcorders that used a memory card to shoot a digital version of films. This meant that you didn’t need to use film and tapes and shit any more. These camcorders made HD porn videos for the first time. This was an amazing time for porn, you could finally see a pussy without needing to squint at your TV screen or watch your porn at a cinema.

As time went on, these camcorders got better and better. Slowly, but surely, we got the porn that we all know and love today. Really high-quality porn where you can see every wrinkle and spot on a pussy. What a great time to be a porn lover. Well, sadly, somewhere from the beginning of this porn revolution to now, HD Pornos stopped uploading porn to their site. So, the porn on this site was likely extremely HD back when they stopped making an effort, but now, it might as well be shot on a Victorian camcorder for all I give a shit!

What HD Pornos is lacking

I could talk about the design of HD Pornos and how shit that it. I could also say that the layout of this site is one of the most offensive parts of the whole site. I could also say that the amount of ads on this site is so shocking that it makes getting to the porn almost impossible. I could say all of this and all of it would be true. All of this alone would make HD Pornos a terrible site, regardless of the porn. However, none of that matters at all.

What is HD Pornos lacking? HD fucking PORN! They have 1019 pages of porn, none of them contain HD porn. The porn is as old as the design and layout. What’s the point. You know that your site doesn’t have any HD porn on it any more so why advertise it? Why don’t you just change the name of your site and give your name to another site that still cares about the porn its viewers watch. HD Pornos clearly gave up right after the invention of good quality camcorders, you know, at the start of World War 1. So, give up the name like you gave up on your site.

I must be calm about HD Pornos

I will be calm about HD Pornos because if they don’t care, why should I? Their site is terrible because the creators gave up long ago. The adverts are terrible and completely unavoidable, I am using AdBlocker to do this porn review and even that can’t stop them. However, I will not get mad about this site. I will be cool, calm and cunty about this website, but not angry. If you don’t care about the porn you are offering your viewers HD Pornos, that’s fine, I shall take my wanking business elsewhere. Good day to you sir, you wanky pile of shit!

The Geek’s final thoughts on HD Pornos

I am not angry with HD Pornos, I have come to expect that most porn sites never live up to their name. I could tear HD Pornos a new asshole for their stupid name and their lack of HD porn, but I don’t feel like it. I am not angry HD Pornos, I am just disappointed. I am disappointed with you and every other site that doesn’t live up to their name. You could have a great site on your hands here, but you don’t. It is full of awful porn that no one wants to watch. The fact that the porn on this website isn’t HD, isn’t the worst part of the site, it is the fact that none of the porn is any good at all.

Also, because this porn site has so many fucking ads, there are ads everywhere, it makes it impossible to view the porn anyway.  Perhaps that’s HD Pornos plan. They know they have shit quality porn compared to everyone else, so they hide it behind a fuck load of adverts to cover it up. HD Pornos wasn’t counting on me coming along and exposing their shit quality porn, though, were they! As I said, HD Pornos, you useless bag of dicks, I am not angry, well I am always angry, I am just disappointed, which is far worst for you!