Jizzle

What the fuck is Jizzle?

Jizzle is about to be torn a new asshole because I am sick of reviewing these cunts of a site. Jizzle is a poxy porn site created by Xvideo to draw porn watchers to their site. All Jizzle is, is an endless scrolling pile of horse shit that has some porn on it. All this porn looks terrible. It is just a long list of porn with shit thumbnails that is supposed to entice you into watching the porn. Of course, that is what every site is trying to do, but Jizzle is one of the worst ones at doing its job.

Basically, somewhere in the early 2000s’ (if I had to guess) Xvideos (a shit site) wasn’t getting many visitors (likely because it is a shit site) so they created thousands of shitty little porn sites like Jizzle that have really bad thumbnails to some mediocre at best porn on them. The idea behind these sites was that all the videos linked straight back to Xvideo. So, you click on a shit porn video, end up on Xvideo and then you can look through their shit porn offerings too. That is all Jizzle is, but you came here for a porn review, and by god, you will leave here with a porn review, dear reader. Prepare for this shit to ugly real quick!

The design of Jizzle

The design of Jizzle is nothing short of shit; you can see a screenshot of Jizzle, so you know what I am talking about. It is just a white background with some porn on it. Now, I have to say that Jizzle isn’t actually the most offensive of these sites that I have come across, the white background actually makes it look alright, but it still is a shit design out of principal. The rest of the design of Jizzle is just as shit as the rest of the poxy sites like these.

Jizzle has low-quality thumbnails that try and fail to get you interested in the porn. And that is about it. I mean, the saving grace for Jizzle is that it is quick, but that’s just because there isn’t anything on Jizzle at all. The only thing actually on Jizzle are these shitty thumbnails; the actual porn is on Xvideo. So, the design is as wank as everything else.

Why the fuck does Jizzle exist?

Jizzle seems like a fucking throwback to me. Back when porn sites would create smaller sites that linked back to the bigger one to try and draw cunts back to the main site. Companies of all kinds used to use this trick back in the day. If you’ve ever heard of some cunt blowing up overnight, it was likely using this method. However, I only know of Xvideo and its silly little exploits because I have reviewed about 10 of these cunts already. So, clearly, this bullshit little marketing thing didn’t work.

So, rather than shutting this shit down, Xvideo just decided to keep them around, why? In the hopes that the cumshots on Jizzle suddenly blew up and started generating business? Jizzle is a terrible site; no cunt is going there to watch porn. Any cunt that has every found Jizzle in a search for porn, write in and tell me, I bet my emails are drier than my nan’s cunt tomorrow! Just shut this shit down, Xvideos, it ain’t working, and it is an embarrassment to porn!

What is Xvideo’s problem?

You tell me. This technique didn’t work when it was popular, so I haven’t got a clue why these cunts are still trying it. I have flirted with the idea in the past that sites like Jizzle are just fan sites. Some silly cunt made Jizzle to show off their favourite porn videos, but every one of these shitty little sites has the same shit design, layout and thumbnails. So, I am pretty certain that this is Xvideo and their last gasp to beat PornHub.

I think there are probably companies trying to beat out Amazon for their slot, right now. There’s gotta be, where’s there’s money, there are cunts. However, go and check out Xvideos and see if you would watch porn on there rather than on PornHub. Go ahead; I’ll wait.

See, it’s shit, it offers nothing new in porn, and most of the videos are terrible. Why would any cunt choose that over some of the best porn in the world? People trying to fight with massive porn companies are destined to fail because it is the ones who don’t try to compete that succeed. If you’re a porn site competing with the likes of PornHub, you’ve already lost. Whereas if you carve out a porn niche for yourself, you could surpass PornHub and every other site. However, Jizzle and Xvideos won’t do this because they are shit.

The Geek’s final thought on Jizzle

Hmmm, what I do I think about Jizzle, hmm. I am on the fence about Jizzle. No, I ain’t it is a annoying little cunt of a site that I am sick to death of seeing. These sites are ruining the good name of porn, and I for one, won’t stand it any longer. The next cunt of a site that I have to review that looks like this pile of shit, I am going to contact Xvideo and find the fuck out why they created these cunts and get to the bottom of this shit once and for all. Do not check Jizzle out, it will only get Xvideos’ cock hard, and if you do that I will be very disappointed in you!