Ms Pac Whore

This is actually a thing?

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that there was a gaming studio out there that actually went ahead and created Ms. Pac Whore. I mean, Pac-Man is pretty much the OG video game, right? This title brought the whole world a game that was enjoyable, playable, challenging and had some replay value. I suppose it only makes sense that at some point, a weird dude would come along and decide that it would be a good idea to produce a porn parody of it. The Internet never ceases to amaze me and well, today I’m going to devote a good few hours of my time playing Ms. Pac Whore to see what it’s all about. Fingers crossed it delivers the goods and I can recommend it for anyone who wants to play an arcade classic with a modern erotic twist!

The network effect

So it turns out that when you make an account to play Ms. Pac Whore, you’re actually signing up to a network site called My Gamer Vault (or Free XXX Games) – this gives you access to a hell of a lot of games on top of Ms. Pac Whore, but I think I’ll go into the entire experience a little later. Just know that this isn’t a one membership one game deal: value for money is clearly on the cards here from the looks of things at My Gamer Vault. Anyway, onward to Ms. Pac Whore! You can find the game by searching ‘Pac’ on the right-hand side of the navigation header or by visiting the ‘Arcade’ category in the games section of the site.

Initial impressions of Ms. Pac Whore

First things first: this game runs on Flash, so make sure you’ve got a browser that’s able to utilize this somewhat outdated technology if you want to get the full Ms. Pac Whore experience. You can make the game full-screen from the get go although I did notice some clipping at the bottom where it says “Press Enter to begin” – hope this isn’t a reoccurring problem because when I play a game, I want to see 100% of it, not just 90% of it! Anyhow, I finally got in and decided I’d play for a while so I could write an accurate review of what’s going on here.

Unpolished mechanics are obvious

One of the biggest problems for me is the fact that the gameplay itself isn’t very polished. Movement doesn’t feel clean or fluid and I cannot buffer inputs – this wouldn’t be such a huge problem in and of itself, but it turns out that Ms. Pac Whore is really glitchy and will pause your movement if you try to hit yourself into a wall. You have to be very precise if you want to get into the right space (no pun intended) and yeah – it just didn’t feel like a very good polished product.

It’s just not fun

Look, Ms. Pac Whore just isn’t enjoyable and that’s as simple as it gets. There’s no PORN here! I completed a bunch of levels and didn’t get to see anything. You just die when your lives expire and get ‘game over’ with a play again option. The only adult aspects here are the fact that Pac Whore (who looks like Pac MAN with that beard shadow thing) has a pair of sexy legs and you walk around collecting dildos. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let this type of thing fly: the game just isn’t that good of a porn parody to be worth recommending to people. There’s not even a high score table, so I have no way of comparing myself to others! If I’m not getting smut and I’m not getting the perverse sexual pleasure of being rank 1 at whatever it is I’m doing, then chances are I’m not going to be a happy camper.

The alternative games on the network

Not all is lost however, as I’ve actually taken a quick look over the bonus games you get access to and wow – there are over 400 of them! A huge number to say the very least and these guys seem to source their titles from a range of decent sources. With so many categories to take a look at, I think I might dive into a few of them and share a few images to let you know what’s hot on the My Gamer Vault network. Ms. Pac Whore might have let us down, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t some level of pleasure to be salvaged from this whole operation.

Fuck Town: Date With a Computer Consultant

We’ve probably all played dating simulators before, right? Well turns out that there are dozens on My Gamer Vault including the likes of games from the Fuck Town series. This game begins with you working at a computer shop and helping out some sexy anime girl with big titties design a decent computer. She’ll then ask you to come over and help her install it – I think you probably get the idea of where this whole thing is going. Suffice to say that if you like adult hentai games that are quick to the sex, this is going to be the one for you. Fuck Town doesn’t mess around with its name: you get exactly what you’re promised and it comes in real quick too!

Rasta Sauna Fuck

Bit of a weird name, but it basically tells you exactly what you’re getting, right? The concept here is that you’re in a sauna with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed busty babe wearing a bikini and she wants to share a joint with you. I’m not sure how realistic this whole situation is, but I’m not complaining all that much since the very next choice you have is how you want to fuck that tight little pussy. I actually think describing this as a game might be going too far – it’s more of a comic book sex simulation device. What’s funny is that you can actually play around with a ton of settings if you want to – hair color, background and so on. There’s even a ‘random’ switch if you’re in the mood for getting a spicy result without a clue of what’s going to happen.

Other great parts of My Gamer Vault

So alongside hundreds of video games, my Gamer Vault also has a video section that you might want to check out if you like high quality, X-rated porn in movie format. There are a heap of categories here, but it’s mainly professional material with plenty of teens, anal, lesbians and Asians to chow down on. I was in heaven the moment I started to take a look around here – talk about a decent combination of quality and quantity! Pretty much every upload is available in HD too: I don’t think anyone can complain all that much about 1920 x 1080 pixel videos – especially when they’re included for free as a part of a membership to a website focused on adult games.
My Gamer Vault also has full-length DVDs from a number of great studios. Titles here included The Art of Tribbing, Backdoor Blondes, Teenage School Girl Diary and Malibu Massage Parlor – I think you can probably work out that when it comes to variety, these folks aren’t messing around. The DVDs can be streamed or downloaded – take your pick and have fun, guys! So much hardcore porn here that I doubt anyone could ever feel like they’re missing out. Mr. Porn Geek is a big fan of bonuses and I really think it’s safe to say that you get exactly that with My Gamer Vault.

Other features

As if that wasn’t enough, My Gamer Vault also has an area on the site for live cam feeds. I saw girls such as CassidyNicole, NayMae, AliceSimpson and a few other sexy chicks: streams are incredibly high quality and free to tune in to. Note that these are actually provided by a third-party platform though, so it’s not like the ladies are directly fed in from the My Gamer Vault studios – too bad!
Finally, you’ve got two bonus sites that are worth checking out called Premium Porn HD and XXX HD Vault. They’re porn video focused and combined, they’ve got thousands of X-rated adult movies that you’re going to love watching. I think it’s safe to say that even if you’re the most addicted of porn consumers, there’s no chance of you running out of smut once you have an account at My Gamer Vault.

Final thoughts

All things considered, My Gamer Vault is a great destination of choice for folks that really do enjoy playing a wide variety of XXX porn games and don’t mind having to sift through a few sub-par titles in order to find the good stuff. Ms. Pac Whore was a bit of a disappointment but I’ve done enough research on the bonus features here to still consider it a member’s area worth considering. Does it rival Nutaku for gaming? Probably not, but the sex elements come a lot quicker and they have some fun unique titles that you’ll want to try out sooner rather than later. It’s safe to say that when it comes to recommending My Gamer Vault, Mr. Porn Geek has no issues with telling fans of porn games to sign up – this is a good member’s area with a lot of fun to be had.

Please note: The games on the website are not owned by MrPornGeek. This particular game has been reviewed from inside its member’s area at the time MrPornGeek signed up to review the games. To contact this website over any disputes, cancelations, or refunds, please contact the websites customer service, email [email protected] or call 877-283-5293.