Persian Kitty

What in the fuck is Persian Kitty?

Right, in order to keep the review of Persian Kitty as fair as possible, I am going to review the entire “network” rather than just PersianKitty.com. As if I were just to review that part of this porn network, I would destroy it and rape it a new asshole because it is awful. However, there are some parts of Persian Kitty that aren’t actually too bad. So, rather than just go completely mental at Persian Kitty I am prepared to give it a chance because I am a lovely person and want to be as fair as I can in these porn reviews. If you believe that shit, I have some magic beans for sale if you want them.

Right, so Persian Kitty is a porn site, obviously, there is a lot going on on this site and a shit load of stuff to cover. So, let’s not sit here wanking all day, let’s review this cunt and get the fuck on with our lives shall we dear reader?

The poxy design of Persian Kitty

Right, I’m sure you’ve seen a few links to Persian Kitty in this article already, just click on one and check this cunt out. Don’t worry; I’ll wait… how shit is this pile of donkey dick! I haven’t seen a site like this in years. Honestly, Persian Kitty has to have the worst design of any site I have ever reviewed. There is no way that Persian Kitty is serious with this shit, surely! Surely they know that this is no way of running a site? What the fuck is up with the layout, the designs, the colours, fucking everything!

Whoever the fuck designed Persian Kitty has clearly been on holiday for the last 20 years cos that was the last time this cunt was updated. Persian Kitty is so bad, but there are some things that save it a bit. I mean, let’s face it right now Persian Kitty will receive a low score for this bollocks, but there are some good things about it.

The videos on the Persian Kitty network

I know this is crazy and completely unexpected on a pile of shit like Persian Kitty, but it actually has some half decent porn on it. Persian Kitty has a vids page; if you can find that shit in the maze with all the other shit on this poxy site, you may actually enjoy yourself a bit. Persian Kitty vids are sick; they are all full-length porn scenes. I mean most of the porn on Persian Kitty is old as death himself, but compared to the front page of Persian Kitty the vids section of this porn network is like an oasis in a desert!

Persian Kitty even has some HD porn, ooo fancy! Seriously, this porn on any other site would be mediocre as shit, but I feel like I have found treasure at the end of the most disgusting looking rainbow right now. Plus, the vids sections of Persian Kitty actually looks pretty good as well! Why the fuck does this part of the site look nice, and the rest of it looks like you kicked a unicorn in the bollocks?

What Persian Kitty needs to do with their site

My first thought was shut the cunt down, but after seeing the vids part of this porn network, Persian Kitty could actually do some good shit with this site. Firstly, what you gotta do Persian Kitty is shut every other bit of this shitty little porn network down, you ain’t a porn network, right now you are a joke. Just concentrate on the porn videos, upload some new ones (perhaps branch out and get some 4k ones, I know, so fancy) and leave the rest of this shocking piece of shit to die in a hole where it belongs.

You need to change everything about the rest of this porn site or get rid of everything and just focus on the videos. The rest of this site is shit, and I am not saying that for some comic effect, Persian Kitty is really shit. Either shut it down or just focus on one part of it. The only way people will use Persian Kitty is if you change your shit up cos right now Persian Kitty looks like a throwback that no cunt asked for.

The Geek’s final thought on the shocking pile of shit that is Persian Kitty

I am really trying to be nice and think positive about Persian Kitty (clearly I am struggling as the title of this section doesn’t suggest that). Persian Kitty has some good things. Oh, fuck this shit. Persian Kitty is awful; I am just trying to be nice because it looks like someone with a serious brain injury made this site and I don’t want to speak ill of someone who has a brain injury. I’ll happily speak ill of the cunts who are just brain dead, though. If you are reading this, Persian Kitty, your site is terrible and needs to be sold for scrap and melted down for nails so that PornHub can nail a few more site’s coffins shut.

Seriously, you can’t have a site that looks like this any more Persian Kitty; it is a fucking embarrassment to every other site that is trying. Your site seriously looks like it had input from a child which is creepy as fuck. Close Persian Kitty down and get back to your day job, unless your day job is running a porn company, in which case, retire.