Pulpo69

What is Pulpo69?

Pulpo69 is a site with a shed load of porn on it. They have porn that is HD and 4k and some long as fuck porn scenes too. I will get to the porn on this site a little further on in this review. However, so far, I have enjoyed my time on Pulpo69. I have been exploring this site for about an hour, and there is a shit load to like about it. Of course, there are also a few areas where Pulpo69 is a bit shit, but at the moment, the good on this site is far outweighing the shit.

So, can Pulpo69 keep this shit up and get a good score? Or will this site fall at the last fence and have to be taken out back and shot in the head, don’t worry, I have a guy who melts all the shitty old porn sites down for glue, nothing is wasted here. There is only one way to find out isn’t their dear reader? We better review this cunt before I spend more time on Pulpo69 “exploring” it, I am really dehydrated already!

The design of Pulpo69

The design of this site is pretty good, to be honest. Of course, there are a few annoying little shitty things about the design, but it is off to a nice start. The design of Pulpo69 does look like the web developers stopped halfway through a really good design. It is a clean and crisp website design, but some things are missing. For example, the layout of the categories is nice, but the shitty little grey box surrounding each category really doesn’t need to be there. So yeah, the design is okay, but could be better!

I will say that during my “testing”, this site has performed really quickly. All of the porn has loaded nice and quickly and the site hasn’t slowed down at all even when throwing my best guns at it. So the backend shit on this site is really good. This is great as Pulpo69 hosts a lot of the videos themselves and many small porn sites can become as slow as that tortoise in that race with that cunt of a rabbit when they host their own porn. So, awesome backend, but the tits need a bit of work Pulpo69.

The porn on Pulpo69

The porn on this site is laid out in categories. When you get on Pulpo69, you are greeted by all of these categories nicely laid out on the homepage. You have a shit load of options for the porn that you want to watch, which is great. However, Pulpo69 is in Spanish, I believe, and there is no way of translating the homepage,  so all of the categories are in Spanish which does make it hard to tell what each porn category is all about as I don’t speak this language, I speak good old English. So, even though that is a little annoying, the categories I have randomly clicked on all contained a fuck load of great porn, so it isn’t really a problem.

Some of the porn on this site is hosted by Pulpo69, but some of it is linked to on other sites like YouPorn. I don’t have a problem with this. YouPorn is a good site, and it makes sense for Pulpo69 to use them to host some videos. I think if Pulpo69 tried to host all of the porn on this site, it would blow up whichever town the servers are located in. There is a dick load of porn on this site. Most of the porn is at least HD, but most of the scenes are under 10 minutes long. There are some porn scenes on Pulpo69 that are full-length, but these are rare.

The features Pulpo69 need to add

At the moment, Pulpo69 just has a fuck load of categories to choose from. While these categories are really in-depth, (I found doctors and nurses categories, separately) they really need other ways of filtering the porn. The issue that a shit load of these smaller porn tube sites have is that they rely on categories when channel filters and pornstar directories work great too. If Pulpo69 added these in, you could easily find the best porn for your mood.

Also, Pulpo69 has to do something about the translation issues on this porn site. When you click on a category, you are given the option to translate the page and see what the porn video descriptions are all about. However, there is no option for translating the homepage, so you have to guess what the fuck the categories are all about it. It shows you how shit thumbnails for categories can be. So, I would love it if Pulpo69 either tried to create better category thumbnails or made the translation work on the homepage as idiots like me haven’t got a fucking clue what’s going on.

The Geek’s final thoughts on Pulpo69

Even though I struggled like fuck on the homepage of Pulpo69, I still really enjoyed the site. I don’t know how much of the porn on Pulpo69 is brand new and how much they update it, but it looks good. There are some great porn videos on this site. If you’re thick as pig shit like me and you can’t speak Spanish then you will struggle selecting a category of porn to watch, but as I said, I had a good look through a few categories and all of the videos in them were fucking awesome so I don’t think this would be issue unless you have a certain type of porn you are in the mood for. Great job, Pulpo69, you’ve made a very enjoyable porn site here.