Rule34

The Full Review:

For those that don’t know, Rule #34 is that ‘if it exists, there is porn of it’. It’s not known where the phrase originates from, but I remember back in the days of early 4Chan (before 100m get) that this was a common thing to post, alongside a number of other rules. Put simply, the concept is that no matter how crazy or broad an idea is for porn, someone has done it. Fridges? You bet. What about cars? Hell yeah! Those are easy mode, baby: the entire purpose of Rule34.xxx is to showcase that this is very much a real thing and there are people devoted to collecting as much weird and wonderful porn as possible.

We’re talking big numbers here, too. Since Rule34 first began, over 200 million page views have been processed: that’s a hell of a lot of people! In a way, Rule 34 is a bit like a search engine: you use it to pick a topic and then it shows you things related to that. The homepage is fairly minimal and just shows off an area to type in a keyword or two and a few other links. If you’re not too sure what you want, click on the image at the top of the page and you’ll go through to the main archive: more on that later, though.

Other links to look at

There are only really 4 main areas here: posts, comments, forum and my account. These are pretty self-explanatory, but I do want to touch on the fact that there’s a pretty active forum where people share random images, talk about video games and do other stuff. The biggest threads are ones like “Has anyone ever done incest” and “General gangbang thread”. I’m sure you can tell from the titles that these guys are pretty X-rated when it comes to their discussions! I do want to note that the discussions here get a little weird: lots of asterisks describing activities and people roleplaying as wolves and that type of thing. You’ve been warned well in advance, folks.

The porn you’ll get

I think it’s important to let you know that Rule34.xxx is mainly about non-real porn. I don’t think I saw a single actual image of people having sex or anything like that: it’s cartoons, 3D renders at that type of thing that Rule34 seems to focus on the most. They’re hardly strapped for action either, you wouldn’t believe just how detailed the content here can get. Just to give you an example of what I’m talking about: there are over 28,000 uploads tagged as ‘unicorn’, 75,000 for ‘pink hair’ and ‘83,000’ for barefoot. One thing you can’t fault nerds on is their commitment to organizing and documenting everything so it’s neat and tidy. Say what you will about geeks – they know how to get their porn affairs in order.

Lots of parody action

If you’ve ever wanted to see your favorite cartoon characters or superheroes having sex, few places are going to be better than Rule34 for exactly that. Their Family Guy section has over 4,000 posts and hulk close to 1,000. They’ve even got a female hulk collection if you get off on the idea of really muscly green women! Almost all movies, TV shows and the like have some type of imagery for you to enjoy. Lots of people have done drawings for Game of Thrones parody stuff too. It gets pretty crazy just how far these guys go – don’t search for dragons, whatever you do!

Video games as well

One of the most recent video games to have its innocence violated is Overwatch – nerds can’t get enough of taking their favorite character and having them subject themselves to some crazy sexual activity. Whether it’s Mercy in bondage or Mei sucking a fat cock, the folks at Rule34 have you covered. League of Legends also has 23,000 posts – dual Ahris posing naked, Lulu taking creampies and Rammus having his ass eaten out by Twitch (with a ‘taunted’ icon above the Rat’s head). I don’t know man, they’re taking this rule 34 thing way too far!

How true is the rule?

I wanted to look at how extreme the rule here went, because surely there are some things that don’t have porn associated with them, right? Well, turns out I was quite wrong. Potato porn? Yup – of course there is. Pingu porn, Aeris sex images and even some hung dragon in a bowl of noodles. Rule34.xxx really does mean what it says on the tin – whatever drawn or rendered porn you’re interested in, they’re probably going to be able to provide you with something.

The cream of the crop

One interesting feature about Rule34 is that they have a ‘cum counter’: after you’ve busted a load, you can hit the ‘I came’ button and it’ll record your nut. They’ve then got a list of the most jizzed to characters – Tracer is well ahead of the pack with 42,000, although Princess Peach isn’t doing too bad at around 28,000. This is probably a good place to find the best looking cartoons and hentai: anime geeks and gaming freaks will probably enjoy this option the most, since it gives them the ability to hone in on their favorite characters that have a track record of extracting seed from the audience.

Final considerations from Mr. Porn Geek

So to wrap things up, I just want to say that I think Rule34.xxx is a very unique site that doesn’t have much by way of competition. This is a very specialized niche interest but the size of the community means that it’s very high quality indeed. Think of it as being more a lewd-focused DeviantArt: you’re getting smut and lots of parody porn from video games, anime and super heroes.

All in all, a very enjoyable experience and one that I can thoroughly recommend to all of the freaks and geeks out there that like amateur X-rated porn of their favorite characters and individuals from media.

Now, go on over to Rule34.xxx and start adding to that cum counter – you know it makes sense!