UnseenMMS

UnseenMMS is another porn offering from Pakistan that is slightly strange to western eyes. I haven’t seen a collection of images like this since I was looking at photos from War World 2. The gashes on show at UnseenMMS are something that I will never recover from. I don’t think I have seen a pussy on the site since I have been on it. There are a lot of cunts on the site, but no pretty pussies. You know? Just horror stories that have come to life and are now deeply burnt into the fabric of your brain, that sort of cunt.

UnseenMMS is a collection of photos that the owners probably never wanted anyone to see. The photos were probably safely stored on a phone as I very much doubt they sent these things to anyone for the reasons of making them horny. Don’t get me wrong, some of the photos of the ladies on this site are pretty good, but most of them are what can only be described as hideous. Now, I am no oil painting, but I try my very best not to send nudes to people. Of course, we all have moments of horny weakness and send our cock pics to every contact in our phone by mistake after a drunk night. Only to wake up, realise what we have done and hope that the shrivelled cock in the photos isn’t yours and it isn’t on a site like this. No, oh, just me then!

The design of UnseenMMS

The design of UnseenMMS is nothing short of shit. The whole site is like a Tumblr thread that has got way out of hand! However, instead of some hot Tumblr girls with some quirky design full of unicorns and bollocks like that, UnseenMMS is just a boring old stream of photos that look very odd. The first time I went on UnseenMMS (last week checking out the site before this review, I do not actively go on this site, even I wouldn’t put my cock through that) I was confronted by a random Pakistani woman drinking beer and eating fried chicken. This woman took up most of the page and was probably in her 60’s. She’s not the point, the layout is. The layout is just massive photos meaning you have to scroll like fuck to hide from the granny (WEARING CLOTHES FOR SOME REASON) and get to another photo.

It’s an odd layout that won’t let you pass if you have AdBlocker enabled and the design is something straight out of a Tumblr nightmare. Not a good Tumblr nightmare where things happen (I really don’t go on Tumblr enough to know what those things might be) but other things happen, bad things!

Additional features for UnseenMMS to consider

Start the fuck again! Seriously, UnseenMMS is a very bad site. I know that these images were never supposed to be seen by the world, and they should have stayed hidden. Taking sexy photos is a skill that many of us do not possess. The women on UnseenMMS prove this. I’m not blaming them (my cock is) I am blaming the creators of UnseenMMS for bringing this to my attention. None of us normal-looking folk are good at taking sexy photos, we aren’t. If you are normal looking and think I’m wrong, go and look at your naughty photos when you are sober and not horny and tell me that you don’t look like a bag of potatoes. In fact, better yet, send them to us, and we’ll make a site like UnseenMMS and show you just how bad your sexy photos are. I’ll be the first, I get my limp cock out, whack it on this desk right now and show you how badly UnseenMMS has effected me!

I have no idea what features UnseenMMS should add. Perhaps better thumbnails that show the image sets in a better light. The thumbnails are also too big. Now, I like a big thumbnail, but these take up the entire screen and so you have scroll a shit load and I’m saving my scrolling finger for when I find some good porn, you get it, I’m gonna stick it up my bum!

Something else UnseenMMS could do is vet the images being uploaded. Not all of the images in all the galleries are bad, but you have to do some serious work to find anything good on UnseenMMS. Either, vet the images so that the bad ones can be avoided altogether or write a quick course on how to take better sexy photos for your users. I don’t think that will work though as the idea behind UnseenMMS is that the images are stolen from the person in them, I think, I dunno, my cock has fully run away from this site so I am not invested in it at all.

The Geek’s final thoughts on UnseenMMS

Oh, UnseenMMS is great! No, it isn’t it is a very strange site with very strange images of ladies on it. I love ladies, I just wish I could find a lady on UnseenMMS to love. Most of the images of the women on unseenmms.com are just bad. From the background to the titties and pussies, something is going on with this site. I am starting to feel that this is a prank by management and that I don’t have to review this porn site!

The site is funny, though, in a painful way. You may enjoy it if you like looking at really badly taken nudes. I have a challenge for our wonderful readers. Go on UnseenMMS and try and get off only using the images you find on page one of the site. Let us know if you can or if your cock has now shrivelled up into a peanut-sized piece of pimples and skin too. If you did, well done, we’ll bump up the ratings of UnseenMMS, if you didn’t, welcome to reality!