XTheatre

X Theatre: Mr. Porn Geek’s review

Hey gang – it’s Mr. Porn Geek here and I’m back yet again with another adult website review. Today, I’m going to be looking at a place called X Theatre, which seems – upon first inspection – to function like a standard tube destination packed full of adult videos that you can enjoy just a few clicks of your mouse. I’ll be going over every single inch of this hub for the review and letting you know what an expert thinks about it. I’ve only spent a small amount of time here in preparation, so we’re basically both going in with the same level of knowledge and understanding of what’s on offer. Now then – let’s go exploring X Theatre!

First impressions of X Theatre

I do just want to mention before looking at the homepage that the URL I’ll be reviewing is XTheatre.org – all other domains I found via Google were illegitimate copycats. Anyway, after landing on the homepage here, you’ll be presented with a small preview pane devoted to the latest uploads added to the library. These preview panes consist of a title, view count, preview image and nothing else – very minimal if you ask me! What I don’t quite understand is why XTheatre.org only shows 8 videos on its homepage: this is the lowest number I’ve come across in practically all my years of reviewing porn sites. Why not go ahead and just show 24, or 48, or some other higher number that doesn’t mean people have to pick from such a small sample of videos? Believe me, the technology is there for that type of thing – embrace it and show us as many videos as you reasonably can!

The only other thing on the homepage is a sidebar with links to third-party destinations: it’s probably not even worth clicking on these, as they’re mainly there for SEO purposes. Anyhow, since I’ve exhausted all things to talk about on the initial landing experience (which, needless to say, was rather unimpressive), I’ll go and explore the other areas of the site before trying out some smut.

Header links at X Theatre

There are header links here and hopefully, they’ll make up for the lackluster experience I had on the homepage of X Theatre. The first one I want to try out is the actors area – I’m expecting to see lots of pornstars here that have dozens of videos associated with them! Well, you’ll imagine my disappointment when I clicked ‘actors’ and was presented with … absolutely nothing. I say nothing: turns out that you get a nice popup whenever you want to click on this page, which has absolutely no content. Look guys, it’s fine if you don’t have a place for people to look at pornstars in closer detail, but just remove the damn link! You’re annoying people who use your site for porn. Many minutes a day are probably wasted with people clicking here, so just shut it down!

With actors out of the way, how about the categories? Surely we’d be able to at least get a fetish or two filtered with the collection of porn that X Theatre has to offer! If you click here to access the categories, you’ll see that they’ve got plenty of big-name niches for you to select from, including the likes of Asian, anal and teen. One thing I wasn’t too keen on is the fact that channel tags are combined with niche tags here. For those that don’t know, channel tags are basically ways to find content from the same studio. X Theatre obviously doesn’t produce any of its own smut, so they rely on third parties like Reality Kings, Mofos, Evil Angel and those types of places to assist. I’ve long been of the opinion that these two types of categorization should be firmly separated – too bad that XTheatre.org didn’t consult me before putting their website together!

Turns out that there are actually model profiles here, but they’re located in the tags directory. I wouldn’t even suggest using these: they’re so scuffed and basically useless. Only a few pornstars are here anyway, so I think your best bet is to just utilize the search function if you have a pornstar you want to see in action. With that said: it’s about time I tried the porn.

Trying porn as X Theatre

I figured the best representation of the experience provided here would be by looking at the latest uploads to the platform, so I visited the all scenes page and got to clicking on some of the videos. The first I took interest in was this upload entitled Naturally Yours – quite a lengthy embed although sadly, it took so fucking long to start streaming. We’re talking 20 seconds – I know that’s not the end of the world, but it could have been a lot sooner.

Quality here wasn’t the greatest, but you do get very length material, so that’s one of the benefits you get. I checked out around 10 extra uploads and basically had the same experience. I loved seeing pornstars like Amy Reid, Holly Hendrix, Valentina Nappi and Aria Skye – quite the cast of chicks who’re getting their tight holes pumped on X Theatre.

X Theatre: my conclusion

For me, the biggest issue here was the constant spamming of pop-ups that my uBlock Origin struggled to actually control. Out of interest, I did decide to visit with no ad blockers – I got blasted with around 4 new pages every single time I went to watch a video. Look, I know it costs to have a server open and you’ve got to make cash via some method, but is this honestly the road you want to go down? Combining all of the problems together, I can’t really suggest you check out X Theatre in good faith: this site fell incredibly short of expectations and made one too many sins for me to be able to recommend you take a look. Sure, it’s got lots of free porn videos, but which adult entertainment destination doesn’t these days? Enter at your own risk – I’d suggest reading my other reviews first though.