Izithombe Zocansi Ezihlekisayo Eziphezulu, Ividiyo Ehlanyayo Yocansi & XXX Ahluleka Amawebhusayithi
Kanjalo mnumzane. I-porn geek ucabanga ukuthi ukuthola lezi zingosi ezihlekisayo ze-porn ngokuzenzekelayo kukwenza ubehlekisayo njenge-fuck?
Helo yebo enza kungenjalo ubungeke ube lapha. Ngiyadlala nje ndoda, ngiyazi ukuthi awukho lapha kuma-chops wami we-comedic kodwa ngiyazi i-porn e-funny futhi ngizimisele ukuxoxa engikwaziyo nawe. Ake ngichaze. Into eyodwa osuke wayiphawula ngo-mr. Izingosi ze-xxx ezingcono kakhulu ze- porn geek zokuchitha isikhathi eside emsamo wami iqiniso lokuthi ngi “kwesinye isikhathi” Zihlekise njenge-fuck.
Ngifunde ngisemncane ukuthi iphuzu lokuthengisa dude alikho ukuthi likhulu kangakanani iqhude lakhe, igama lakhe lokugcina likhulu noma ukuthi lenza malini, ngoba ekugcineni kosuku – akekho umuntu wesifazane ofuna ukuba nomuntu akumenzi ahleke. Ufuna ukuba nomfowethu omnandi: Akafuni ukumane achithe impilo yakhe ephila njengendlovukazi uma engabhejeli ngenkathi enza. Myeke max akhiphe i-amex yakho kodwa amenze ahleke ngenye indlela enye indoda!
Manje ukuthi umbono wami ngezimpawu zabesifazane zokuheha usuphelile, ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele ngikutshele konke mayelana nezindawo ezihlekisayo zobunqunu ze-porn ezibalwe lapha! Isihloko kufanele sisinikeze – ngibuyekeze izindawo ezihle kakhulu ze-porno ezingcolile, ezihlanyayo futhi zizijabulisa kakhulu ngama-porn video azibonisa ukuthi kunjani ukugabha ngenkathi unesikhathi esihle.
Ukuya ocansini kanye nokuhleka ngezinye izikhathi kuyilokho udokotela akuyalile. Ungaba neyodwa noma enye kodwa kungani ukhetha lapho ungaba nakho zombili ngasikhathi sinye? Yilokho okwenziwa yilawa masayithi. Futhi ngifanele ngithole, bahlanganisa bobabili kahle kabi. Ngibe nezikhathi ezimbalwa empilweni yami yezocansi lapho ngike ngabopha khona imichilo futhi ngabenza bakhala kancane ngokuhleka (noma kwakubuhlungu?) ngoba ngangenza izinto ezithile eziyisiwula: Kepha lokho akulutho uma kuqhathaniswa nokwenzeka kulezi zindawo . Lokhu kufaneleka okulandelayo, konke kuligi uqobo lwayo.
Ngithembe, shit kule porn engcolile iya kwesokunxele maduze nje futhi yilokho okwenza la mavidiyo ama-porn angazwisisekiyo abe ngolaka. Njengoba ubuka, ngeke wazi ukuthi ungayinakekela i-boner yakho noma usule amehlo akho ngoba izinyembezi – ezibangelwa ukuhleka ngokweqile- qhubeka uphalaze. Mhlawumbe unamandla athile we-ninja futhi ungakwazi ukukhipha elilodwa ngenkathi uhleka imbongolo yakho.
Ngakho-ke zonke lezi zingosi ze-porn ezihlekisayo / ezihlekisayo ozifake ohlwini, ungubani owokuqala owaqala lokhu?
ngizofika kulokho manje, ngokuyisisekelo, i- efukt yisiza esiqale le niche kanti abanye beza bezokopisha abakwaze ukupela nge-niche. Bathi ukulingisa kuyindlela enhle kunazo zonke yokuthopha futhi ngineqiniso ukuthi isayithi lamavidiyo wokwenza ucansi oluhlekisayo lungaphezu kokucashunwa ukubona inguquko ababeyiqala isaya ngokuqinile ku-inthanethi. Akukho lutho oluqhathaniswa nolwangempela kodwa ama-spinoffs enza umsebenzi omuhle we-darn uma ngithi kanjalo nami.
Amavidiyo ahlekisayo we-porn kufanele kube lula ukuwathola futhi ngiyathemba ukuthi ngikwenzile lokho lapha – ngakho-ke yiba newashi elincane futhi ungazise ukuthi uhleke kangakanani! Ngicishe ngiqinisekile ukuthi ngithole iningi lezingosi ezingcolile zobulili ezihlelwe lapha kodwa hey, awusoze wazi, mhlawumbe uzothola igem engikuphuthele ngandlela thile. Ukwabelana kuyakhathalela yize kunjalo-ke uma uthola i-xxx ehlekisayo, qiniseka ukuyabelana nami! Futhi uma ucabanga ukuthi isayithi lakho elihlekisayo le-fave lahlulwa ngandlela thile, ungazise nami.
Porn geek ubukeka sengathi uyayazi i-shit yakho uma kukhulunywa nge-porn! noma kunjalo, qhubeka ukhuluma ukhathazekile, ngisalalele…
Indoda ebandayo! : P ake ngigoqe lokhu ngokushesha lapha. Ngingumlingisi ohlekisayo lapho ngifuna ukuba khona, kepha angikaze ngibe ngumuntu ohlekisayo ‘oshubile’ (indoda engenza ubulili buhlekise njenge-fuck). Kulowomsebenzi, ngiwushiya kumasayithi aqukethe izehlakalo ze-porn ezijabulisa kakhulu, ngemuva kwezindaba zezigcawu nezinto ezihlobene nazo. Mnu. I-porn geek yazi kahle kakhulu ukuthi ukuthola ezinye izinto ezihlekisayo kulula ukusho kunokwenza – ngizamile mina kanye nangemva kokubuka amahora we-porn, anginalutho! Lokho akusho ukuthi alikho i-toni le-funny porn laphaya, ngoba kukhona.
Ngokubonga, kunabantu abangcono ekutholeni ukuthi i-xxx smut ehlekisayo kunami, yingakho ifakwa epulatifomu yami lapha. Amavidiyo athokozisayo e-porn avela kuyo yonke indawo – ukusuka endaweni ebonakala ngathi yi-posh ezansi kuya e-ghetto nakuzo zonke izindawo phakathi. Izindaba ezihlekisayo zocansi ezihlekisayo aziwazi umbala owodwa ngakho-ke uzothola bobabili abamhlophe abansundu nabamnyama bathola udumo lwabo lwemizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu kulezi zinto ezingasho lutho.
Ngokusobala abengahlelanga noma yikuphi kwalokhu okuyikho okwenza kube hilarious toe-curling. Enye yale shit ihlekisa kakhulu ukuthi mhlawumbe uzokweqa ubambo kusuka ekuhlekeni kakhulu. Lokhu kufana namavidiyo asekhaya amnandi kakhulu asekhaya aseMelika kepha nge-porn. Yebo, umphakathi ojwayelekile awulungele lolu hlobo lokuhlekisa kepha unenhlanhla ngathi, i-intanethi ikhona! Uma othile ekubheja imali ethi ubumnandi obunjalo be-porn abukho, ungakuwina kalula lokho kubheja ngoba njengoba ngikhombisa lapha, ikhona ngempela.
Mnu. Uhlu lwe-porn geek lwamasayithi lapha lusezingeni eliphezulu ku-niche yokubonisa izehlakalo zocansi ezishisayo nezinocansi lapho amabhungane azithola egxotshwa emgodini ongafanele, abizwe ngabalingani bawo besifazane ngenkathi behleka futhi bawela emanzini ngenkathi kushunqelwa amachibi. Futhi lokho kuyiphupho nje elincane le-iceberg uma kukhulunywa ngokuqukethwe kulezi zingosi.zingosi ze-porn ezingcono kakhulu ukubukwa kunokuthi ngichaze.
Angizukubenzela noma yini ubulungiswa uma bengizama ukuchaza ividiyo ngayinye, ngakho-ke uma ufuna ukuhleka ngenkathi une-boner qhubeka bese uchofoza izixhumanisi ezingezansi. Khumbula ukuncoma noma yiziphi ezinye izindawo ohlangabezana nazo nge-imeyili – ngingajabulela ukufunda amasayithi amasha aphezulu aphezulu anezinto zabantu abadala ezihlekisayo.
Linda – Ngineminye imibuzo embalwa engicabanga ukuthi ibalulekile.
Damn – bengicabanga ukuthi ngizoba lapha isikhashana nje ngikhuluma ngezithombe ezihlekisayo ze-porn kodwa uzobe ususithathile isinqumo sokuthi kufanele nginamathele isikhathi eside ngenkathi ngiphendula imibuzo yakho. Vele ube ngqo nami lapha Fam: Uzoba buhlungu yini embongolweni futhi ungibuze imibuzo engokomfanekiso ngomkhathi noma ngabe uzoyigcina ivulelekile kwi-porn? Kubukeka sengathi kuyamangaza ukuthi ngikubuza imibuzo ngemibuzo yami kodwa, Hhayi, lolu uhlobo lomuntu engicabanga ukuthi ngiyalucabanga. Kulungile – ngizokuvumela ukuthi uqhubeke ungibuze ukuthi ufunani, kepha zihlobene kangcono nesenzo se-xxx esihlekisayo noma ngizohamba ngibhanana.
Usho ukuthini, ubhanana? umbuzo wami kungenzeka ungahlobene ne-xxx ehlekisayo nakancane…
Kulungile, manje usuqala ukungiphulula ngempela mngani! Ngisebenza imbongolo yami usuku lonke, nsuku zonke ukuletha amavidiyo ahlekisayo amahle kakhulu aseduze futhi konke ongakwenza ukucela imibuzo esikhundleni sokujabulela izincomo engikunikezayo. Uyabona ukuthi ungokuchofoza okumbalwa nje kude nezinye iziqeshana ze-porn ezihlekisayo ezikhululekile ezingama-100%, yebo? Uma kungenjalo ngaleso sikhathi kungenzeka ukuthi awuqondi ukuthi leli khasi limayelana nani nokuthi ukuzinikela kwami emphakathini we-porn kuyini. Dmx wathi eminyakeni eminingi edlule ukuthi lo akuwona umdlalo owesabekayo futhi kufanele ngicaphune kuye kulokhu, ngoba ngiwuthatha ngokungathi sína umsebenzi wami, noma ngabe umsebenzi wami ujikeleza ukubheka iziqeshana ezihlekisayo ze-porn usuku lonke!
Nanku umbuzo wami – ingabe uziphambukela kula mawebhusayithi?
Ungumuntu ohlanekezelwe! Uzohlala lapho ephethe idokhethi lakho esandleni sakho bese ubuza omunye umuntu ongaziwa ukuthi wenzani ngeyakhe inyama nangama-veg amabili? Angiyena umuntu wokumangalela umuntu ngobungqingili noma noma yini, kepha empeleni – alunjalo uhlobo lokuziphatha engingazihlanganisa nomuntu ojabulela ukuhlangana nomuntu ocansini njengento ekhethekile yezocansi. Kodwa njengoba ubuza futhi ubonakala sengathi ufuna ukwazi konke mayelana noMnu. I-porn geek – ngisebenzise ezimbalwa zalezi zindawo phambilini kusukela eceleni kwazo zonke amahlumela ezihlekisayo ze-porn, zinokuqukethwe okuhle okujabulisayo noma oku-amateur. Izibonelo ezikhumbula ukuthi esinye isiqeshana sosana oluhlakazwe kakhulu olugxotshwa ngephutha kubabhemi bese siluthatha nje – lokho kungenye yezintandokazi zami ngoba kubukeka sengathi kuyiphutha elethembekile kepha kubukeka sengathi kubhalisa neqiniso ukuthi isikhwama sakhe sasejele uyahlaselwa. Uhlangothi olucashile lwe-porn: Lapho intombazane isetshenziswa futhi ihlukunyezwa njengengxenye yenyama efanelekile, nami ngithusa amantongomane kulokho noma nini lapho ngithola ithuba.
Ngabe ufuna ngikuthumele amavidiyo ahlekisayo abantu abadala ongawabuka, Mnu. porn geek?
Unga uma ufuna, kepha ngeke ngikuthembise ukuthi ngizokwazi ukufika lapho uzobabuka. Lapho ngiqala ekuqaleni le sayithi bekungukhiye ophansi futhi kungeyona yonke into ethandwayo, kodwa ngithole intaba yomsebenzi wokulungisa lesi sikhathi futhi kuya kuba kubi nsuku zonke! Ngiyawuthanda umsebenzi omusha engiwutholile neqiniso lokuthi ngingahlola izingosi ze-porn amahora ayi-12 ngosuku kodwa bengizobe ngiqamba amanga uma ngithi akuyona inselele encane. Noma kunjalo – ngithungathe umama wakho esihlahleni sakhe esiqinile ngemuva kosuku lwethu lokuqala, ngakho-ke anginankinga nenselelo enhle (ihlaya kuphela – kwakungeyona inselelo nakancane. Wayinikela khona lapho).
